(The first blog I wrote in 2009)
Single ladies, is it just me, or did you figure by the time you got this age you'd be married? I know I did!! I had it all planned out when I was 9 years old I was going to be married by 18 because my mom married my father at that age. Then as I got older, I decided I'd marry post-college graduation, which put me at 23. Unfortunately, the man I claimed to be my husband was married with 4 kids and one on the way.
Then after learning about my first love's marriage and seeing my friends get married, I figured it's best to wait until I was past 30 so I could spend my 20s having as much fun as possible and travel all over the world before being tied down with children. Now, I'm in my mid-30s and still single. I'm an academic so I did the math and read many articles that discussed how hard it is for an educated Black woman to be married post-college. There are several statistics that about the more degrees a Black woman has the less likely it is for them to get married and that or best match would be an Asian man because he is in a similar boat as the Black woman.
So, I joined almost every online dating website, Blackpeoplemeet, Plenty of Fish, eHarmony, and whatever else I could locate. I was constantly seeking my future babydaddy through my friends, bars, friends' husbands' friends. That was not a mistake, yes I meant babydaddy because honestly ladies, I was more interested in having a baby than anything and I was doing almost anything to find him.
THE DEVIL IS A LIAR!!
I want my single brothers and sisters to get that in their minds!! Although I've been saved, baptized, and Holy Ghost filled for years but, you would never know by the actions I took to find my husband. I felt so ready and I just knew he needed my help to find his good thing Although I told myself I was waiting for him, yet I was still living in sin and expected God to bless me with a God-fearing husband when I wasn't afraid of Him myself?? But God!! God has corrected me and is still doing it as I'm continually learning Him and submitting more to Him, as any Dad expects of their child. So as I reflected and prayed and God revealed the following to me:
1. My single brothers and sisters remember to ALWAYS put God first.
Take the time to know and learn God. Put time and value in that relationship first. Psalm 37: 4 & 5,(KJV) "4 Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.5 Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him, and he shall bring it to pass.
2. DO NOT COMPROMISE YOUR VALUES or SPIRITUAL INTEGRITY.
We all have a list of our do's and don'ts. If you meet someone after asking them if they are Saved be sure to stand firm in your faith and do not change your values. Remember, YOU are worth more than being belittled, abused, ignored, bullied or, sacrificing your relationship with God. Believe me, it's NOT worth it.
3. Keep your eyes, ears, and thoughts to yourself and ask God to remove any jealousy from you.
Refuse to become jealous. Be happy (genuine happiness) for your friends, family members, co-workers, etc. Remind yourself that theirs is the blessing God gave them specifically, and He has blessings just for you as well.
But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.
Proverbs 6:32
This is self-explanatory, thou shall not commit adultery. Fornication and adultery will stop any prayers you have for a mate. Being the other woman or man will never be acceptable with God. Married couples make a vow with God to remain loyal to one another until death do they part. When we choose to break their vow, we become the enemy.
His job is to kill, steal, and destroy. When we become that other person we are playing the role of the enemy. We are killing and destroying something God put together. When we choose to take it into our own hands and destroy something that was never ours. In reality, it will never be ours. Think about this too, let's say they do come to us, will we ever truly trust them?
Crystal Renee, is a published writer of poetry and prose fiction. She believes the power of life and death lies in the tongue (Proverbs 18:21), and by speaking and applying the Word of God to EVERYTHING, He answers prayers, but it's our job to apply our faith for results. (James 2:20 - Faith without works is dead.)
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