God is more REAL than you know
Be not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God ~Philippines 4:4-7
The last two weeks can be described as the best test of faith I've experienced in years. I entered the Spring term with two classes scheduled to instruct. I prayed my boss would bless me with three Composition II classes but, I was only assigned a sad two. Don't get me wrong. I love my job, honestly being an Adjunct English Professor is the best job I've ever had. But, being an Adjunct vs. an Associate comes with different benefits. The main two are money and amount of classes.
Once I saw I was only assigned two classes, I went into an instant panic. God’s presence was never a thought. Forgetting His covering pushed me into fear. Two classes couldn't cover my rent and bills. This wasn’t the first time I've experienced this type of fear.
My paychecks have never been large nonetheless, I've always found a way to make my less than 40k salary stretch. That was in 2017, before I took a leap of faith to follow my dreams of becoming a full-time professor and a traditionally published author.
That was almost four years ago. When things were different in Chicago; I had the $afty cushion of my parents and at the time, care for my grandmother was needed in her residence. I wasn’t able to stand and live on my own (again) until last August, the month before my grandmother passed.
Heavy light bills started arriving in my mailbox before Halloween. This was how it all started. I sacrificed rent money for the light bill for three months. Foolish, in foresight but, in the present, I was full of anxiety and this stupid fear. I went to God, begging Him for a plan of action. My history of never having enough money taught me to seek God immediately, way before things got worse.
While in bed two weeks ago, I became breathless and found myself unable to catch any air in my lungs. Being half awake, my nose forgot how to inhale and my throat felt stuck. I sat up, remembering this familiar feeling. An anxiety attack was trying to erupt within me. I jumped out the bed and praised God without ceasing.
Jesus, I thank You!
(deep inhale)
Jesus, I praise You!
(breath)
Jesus, You never fail and Your Word NEVER returns void.
Hallelujah!
I will NOT be anxious because Your Word says be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
God, You, know why I'm here. God, I need You. What do I do, Lord. God, please open my spiritual eyes and ears so I can hear Your direction and instructions.
God, I trust and know You will not let me fail.
I slept but, the next night anxiety tried to make an appearance again. Again I went into praise. I praised God and sang Jesus at the Center by Israel Horton until I fell asleep.
Then the miracle began. A friend hired me as her writing coach. Which sparked me to reopen my publishing company, DreamWriterInk! Writing & Publishing. I closed it due to Covid and my commitment to my grandma as she sundowned.
After getting that coaching contact, I reached out to past customers, thinking maybe they were ready to finish their books. Two were and I ended up with two more contracts plus, meeting a future author last week. After seven days I ended up with five contracts and two pending. I've made a nice amount of money in a week while creating a new strategy to pull more customers.
God is SO good!! All I did was pray and BELIEVE. This can happen to you too. Try these steps:
1. PRAY
Everyone prays differently. If you are of the Christian faith, I suggest praying as Paul instructed in Philippines. Present God with your issue (petition) then thank and praise Him
2. PRAISE
Let God know how much you love Him. Tell Him thanks for any blessings He's given you. Spend some time here. Let Him really know how grateful you are.
3. BELIEVE
This can be the tricky part for some. But, Jesus said in Mark 5:36, And Jesus heard them and said, Don’t be afraid. Just believe. Use that same faith when praying. If you believe Jesus is real and died for your sins, also believe your prayer will be answered.
4. WAIT
Here's the hard part. Waiting! Ugh!! I've been waiting for my husband and children for over twenty years. Yet, I still believe they are coming. I just don't know when or how God will make it real. This goes for any prayer. Sometimes, He'll answer immediately. Sometimes He won't. Honestly, I'm my opinion, this doesn't matter anymore because I just know He will answer, period.
Reflecting back on those weeks, despite the fear and anxiety I knew God would answer. He always does. I didn't expect the answer He provided but, I am more than grateful to receive it. I just prayed and moved out of His way. The anxiety is gone. My bills are paid. My students are happy and my company opened with no action really committed by me. How could I say God isn't real?
Crystal Renee is an author, blogger, and publisher in Chcago, Illinois.
All right! Look at God!